Ookiina ishi wo obiru aka With Great Will
by JRaiKetchum
Summary: CH 5 Onwards to Nerima! NOW UP! Excel and Hyatt begin their journey to Nerima! Ranma's changes start to affect the Tendo household. :Ch 6. will be up soon!: Excel Saga, Ranma, Slayers xover Read & Review please
1. Prologue

A person who looks like Ash Ketchum from Pokemon with medium-brown hair, blue eyes and a Raichu by his side steps out of the shadows.

Ohayoo/Konnichi wa/Konban wa minna!

Before I begin this fanfic, I'd like to say a few words. This idea is an elaboration of a thread started on the Anime Addventure (http/addventure.bast-enterprises.de) called "With Great Will". Most of the first chapter will be derived from the different stories within the thread. I wish to give credit to these authors before me for giving a foundation for my ideas. Thank you.

Now, onto the show!

-Rai

* * *

Ookiina ishi o obiru

Prologue:

It was a dark and stormy night in the city of Fukuoka, Japan. The wind was howling, the rain was pounding, the thunder was crashing, and the Puchuu were hiding. Hundreds of people were sitting quietly inside their own homes watching the local news, playing video games, or maybe just reading a book. However, there was one man who was not sitting oh, so quietly. He was pacing around his one room apartment feverishly talking to himself. Every once in a while, he would stop and

throw his finger up as to having an idea, but just as fast as the idea came, it would leave like a bolt of lightning from the sky.

"Think, think, think, THINK! What is my next doujin going to be about!"

This nerve racked man none other than the great Koushi Rikudo.

Rikudo-sensei was at a serious writers block. He was due to be at the next Comiket but didn't have any new material to distribute. His famous hit-selling series Excel Saga used up most of his brightest ideas throughout it's 13 volume course. This was a manga-ka's worst nightmare.

"I could have the Excel Saga crew take on American culture... No, that was done in that God-blessed anime. Curse you Nabeshin!. Maybe American politics! Nah, that'd seem too normal nowadays. Oh! Maybe... Just maybe... A cross-over! Yeah! An anime cross-over is perfect! But, I need it to be unique or the masses shall scream for my blood. GULP!" Rikudo-sensei pondered.

And he pondered and pondered. Every possible popular cross-over came to mind but wasn't good enough. Everything new from Naruto to Fullmetal Alchemist, and the classics from Evangelion to Sailor Moon.

"OHH! WHAT AM I THINKING? A CROSS-OVER IS **CAREER SUICIDE! **OH KAMI-SAMA! SEND ME A SIGN!"

A bolt of lightning struck outside and the lights went out.

"AHHH!"

The sound of a lanky man tumbling head first into a full bookcase could be heard throughout the complex. When the lights came back on, you could see the damage that had be wrought in the apartment. Down came everything in the bookshelf on top of Rikudo-sensei. Including the 10-lb bowling ball he kept on the very top shelf.

"I... i... itaiiiiiii..."

Rikudo-sensei arose from the mountain of manga and doujins that he has collected over the years rubbing his head.

"Great, now I have to pick this all back up! And I just got it re-organized! You know what, I'll leave it for the assistant tomorrow, I have too much on my mind right now to resort all of..."

As Rikudo-sensei was walking back to his desk with a possible concussion, he noticed that there were three books arranged in the shape of a perfect, equilateral triangle on top of the mountain. He walked over to investigate this strange phenomenon.

"That's... THAT'S IT! I'VE GOT IT! THE PERFECT CROSS-OVER! IT'S CRAZY ENOUGH THAT IT JUST MIGHT WORK! **BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!**"

The concussed manga-ka laughed insanely as lightning lit up the background.

* * *

Oh Kami-sama, what's running through Rikudo-sensei's mind? What ever it is... It. Can. Not. Be. Good. XX .. For the original authors that is! XD What three anime is the king of parody going to cross-over. Find out in the next chapter. 


	2. The Saga Begins Again

The camera zooms in as Rikudo Koushi sits at his desk and begins to scribble madly while cackling. With every stroke of his pencil, the lightning and thunder crash outside causing him to cackle even more. Animals are running far away from the apartment complex as fast as they can, braving the rain for they can sense the evil lurking inside Rikudo-sensei's apartment. The kids in the neighboring houses were crying for their mommies as they were petrified by the insane laughter. The camera pans up while showing what the crazed manga-ka has been working on for the past three minutes.

* * *

KOUSHI RIKUDO PROUDLY PRESENTS:

**OOKIINA ISHI WO OBIRU**

(WITH GREAT WILL...)

AN EXCEL SAGA/RANMA 1/2/SLAYERS CROSS-OVER!

Translated by Justin Ketchum (JRaiKetchum)

* * *

Chapter 1: The Saga Begins Again.

**Friday, July 17, 200X**

**7:58 AM JST**

**F City, F Prefecture, Japan**

**ACROSS-HQ**

It was another day at the secret ACROSS HQ hidden well beneath the surface of the unsuspecting city of F. Here, plans for city-wide domination are concocted by the twisted and methodical mind of it's leader Lord Ilpalazzo. If you look deep into his golden eyes, you can see the agony that he feels for the world everyday as he starts off his mission briefings with his favorite catch phrase "The world is corrupt!" Or, maybe the agony he feels is the constant migraine that begins every morning around 8:00 AM.

"HAIL. ILPALAZZO!" Excel exclaims at the top of her lungs.

"zzo..." Hyatt whispers weakly from the ground.

And so, the migraine resumes as another day with Ilpallazzo's most loyal and yet, most irritating agent Excel Excel begins to unfold.

"Your most loyal agent Excel reports back from the mean and ugly streets of Juuban in the Minatou-ku ward of Tokyo! The trip there was long and terifying by foot. Did you know that there are approximately 1,000 different kinds of insane drivers out there! We almost got ran over 11.1 million times by the ignorant masses that are ignorant of pedestrians who do not have the luxury of owning a car in this day and age! I say that they will be the first to go when we..." The blonde just kept rambling on and on about the trip.

"Excel-kun... is there an endpoint to this sometime soon?" The dictator inquired.

"Hai Ilpalazzo-sama! Then when we did make it to Juuban, we were attacked by the ugliest looking monster anyone has ever seen! It said that we were going to be it's dinner and.. and..."

"Hyatt-kun, please step back one foot."

The blueberry-haired, frail compositioned girl did as requested as Ilpalazzo pulled the rope dangling in front of his throne. A 6' X 2' hole opened up underneath the hyper blonde and she screamed as she fell down the 8' deep hole.

"KYYYAAAaaaa... Oomph! That wasn't too far that time. Is Ilpalazzo-sama showing mercy for Excel! YES ILPALAZZO-SAMA THE MERCIFUL!"

"**RRRRRROAR!**"

Up above the genuine Burmese Tiger trap complete with genuine Burmese Tiger (Subtitles appear under the tiger reading BURMESE TIGER, _Suprisibus! surprisibus!_) , Ilpalazzo continued the debriefing with Hyatt admist Excel's screams of pain and terror.

"So Hyatt-kun, what was the outcome of the mission"

_"GYYAAA! TAIGAA! TAIGAA! BURMESE TAIGAA!"_

"Well, as senpai was beginning to state, we were attacked by what they call a youma which are famous in that part of Tokyo when we arrived there."

_"HELP ILPALAZZO-SAMA! EXCEL IS BEING RIPPED TO SHREDS!"_

Dust and torn pieces of Excel's clothing were flying up from the giant hole in the floor.

"Go on..."

"We were greeted by the famous Sailor Senshi as they saved us from the horrible youma. That's as much as I know since I collapsed halfway through."

"I see... Well then... Excel-kun!"

_"HI-YA! EXCEL PUNCH AND KICK DOUBLE COMBO! AND NEKO EXITS STAGE RIGHT!"_

Excel jumped out of the tiger trap with her clothes shredded to near nudity and claw marks decorating her body. To say the least, the tiger was winning.

"Hai Ilpalazzo-sama! What is it that you require from your most loyal Excel?"

"Were you able to find out the identities of the Sailor Senshi so as to try and recruit them to our cause?"

"No, we were not able too! After the battle between them and the icky nasty youma they left just as suddenly as they appeared! Like thunder and lightning! Smoke and air! Blood and Hy-chan's body!" Excel stated metaphorically as she looked to see Hyatt hemorrhaging yet again on the floor. "_Right on time too..._"

"I see... Did you try to follow them?"

"Yes! And boy did we find out what happens when they transform back! At the same time, we also found out what happens when you do spy on them while they are transforming back. The medical costs for the 3rd degree burns, broken bones and lacerations were astronomical! The healthcare in this country needs a serious reform! The ignorant masses cannot see how insurance companies are stealing them blind right in front of their own eyes! Doctors are getting sports cars and..."

Ilpalazzo reaches for the rope to the tiger trap again.

"And...and... That.. That is all for our report on the previous mission!" Excel finished trembling in fear and sweating like Menchi.

"Thank you Excel-kun. And when Hyatt-kun revives we shall discuss the next mission, #7,827,413-and-1/2. Oh and by the way, where is Lt. Menchi?" Ilpalazzo inquired.

"Menchi had to be used as an emergency food supply on the way back due to lack of food funds and being lost in the wilderness for 5 days. She tasted great fried and served with apple sauce! I found a new emergency food supply to replace Menchi on the way back and I call him Porkchop! Isn't he just the cutest little piggy?"

Excel presented Ilplazzo with a small, black piglet with a leopard bandanna tied around it's neck.

"BWEEEEEEEEEE!" (CURSE YOU RANMA!)

"Ah, I see... Porkchop-kun, you are now the chief Lt. of the ACROSS army. And as for you Toilet Cleaner Excel, well I think someone else needs an emergency food source right about now..." Ilpalazzo decreed.

He reached for the rope and pulled it releasing the tiger trap again.

"! NO! NOT THE TIGER AGAAAAaaiiiiinnnn... (ping)"

* * *

AN: Sooo. How was the first chapter? Pretty insane right? Well it's only going to get worse people as this is only the beginning! insert Naga-esque laugh here . I'd like to thank Greyman on the ADDventure for "City Domination Plan 7,827,413-and-1/2" (Episode 849). Oh and if I go out of order on the ADDventure, that's to make things flow more smoothly, ne?

Ja, ne

-Rai


	3. An Omnipotent Gift

Chapter 2: An Omnipotent Gift

**

* * *

8:30 AM JST**

**Nerima, Tokyo, Japan**

**Nerima Park**

It was turning out to be another lousy, action-filled day for one of the unluckiest people in the universe, Ranma Saotome. Akane had woken him up from his deep, peaceful slumber with a 5-gallon bucket of ice water and then force fed him a nice homecooked meal. Ranma has just returned from his weekly visit to Dr. Tofu's office, this time to pump the nice, hearty meal from his stomach. Looks like Akane forgot that castor beans are purely for household decoration and NOT to be ingested.

"BLECH! I **HATE** the taste of that charcoal stuff Tofu has to give me everytime Akane poisons me within an inch of my life! It tastes just as bad as her cooking which basically IS charcoal!" The young martial artist complained. "Nothing... I mean NOTHING worse can happen to me today!"

Ranma should know better than to say the n-word with the w-word. Just then, a lightning bolt struck within two feet of where he was standing knocking him down onto the ground faster than you can say ouch.

"AAAHH! I swear, some god must have it out for me!"

The bolt started to change into a human-like figure... Well it would be human if it wasn't nine feet tall, with enormous wings, bright white toga, a long flowing beard, and had a bright white glow around it's entire body. To put it simply, it looked like your ordinary, run-of-the mill archangel.

"**RANMA SAOTOME, YOUR NUMBER HAS COME UP!**" The being proclaimed with it's voice like thunder.

"You mean... I'm.. I'm dead! I KNEW IT! I KNEW I'D DIE ONE DAY FROM AKANE'S COOKING!"

"Eh? No, you look pretty lively to me. Oh, you uhh.. Have something black there on your chin." The being pointed to the charcoal on Ranma's chin. Ranma proceeded to wipe his chin.

"But, you said my number was up?"

"Oh! No, no, no. The Annual Pan-Dimensional Bearer of the Great Will of the Macrocosm contest! You're this year's lucky winner. You will be able to control anything and everything in the entire universe for the next week!" The being explained the to extremely confused Ranma.

"Yeah right, like something that good would ever happen to me. My life has been riddled with trouble and danger from the first minute I was born."

The being took out a bright blue orb of energy from within his toga. It shone like the sun and sparkled like a star from the heavens. There was also a tell-tell spinning and what sounded like a muffled scream coming from within the blue ball.

"Touch, and receive your gift of power beyond your greatest expectations."

As Ranma cautiously approached the blue plasma, he stretched out his hand.

"Why not?" He shrugged and proceeded to touch the plasma.

Suddenly, Ranma was paralyzed as the energy rushed into his body like water from a dam. The pain spread from his right arm over his entire body. He felt as if he was being electrocuted. All of his nerve endings were alive and well. The worst part wasn't the pain but the screaming, feminine sounding voice coming from within his head. The blue energy started to take the shape of a electric bolt on the outside aspect of his right forearm with a big, round circle appearing on his palm. The experience was enough to send the martial artist into shock as the recoil sent him through a nearby tree where he promptly left reality and had a one-way ticket to LaLa-land.

"Transfer. Complete" The being said as it's body started to shift yet again. Standing where the being was a tall man with trimmed blonde hair, a trimmed goatee, a pure white business suit that was the complete opposite of his pitch black soul. He was evil incarnate. A man who's soul has been corrupted by the passion of attaining absolute power. No one knows his true name, but every who does know him addresses him as... That Man.

"Hmmmmhmmmmhmmm. You're not going to escape me this time I'z-chan. Now that you're in a male body, your power is extremely limited. Soon, your power will be mine! Muwahahahahahahahaha COUGH, COUGH, COUGH** CURSED **COUGH **GNATS! **COUGH COUGH COUGH"

A figure creeped out of the shadows.

"Don't you forget who brought you back from the other side. Remember our plan." The figure chastised That Man.

"Of course, I remember it well. Let us retreat for now so someone doesn't see us."

The unknown person and That Man disappeared into the woods surrounding the park.

**

* * *

8:35 AM JST**

**ACROSS-HQ**

Excel emerged from the tiger trap sporting a brand new Burmese Tiger skin rug, and enough clothes to keep her legal.

"YES! Excel has conquered the beast! The roaring, ferocious, lethal entity that is known as the Burmese Tiger has been put to rest! Using only bare hands and muscle, I beat the king of the cats at it's own game and have succeeed in gaining a brand new room accessory to help bring some life into our small, quaint apartment! Yes and our friends will come over and ask "So, how did you manage to bag such a nice looking specimen" and Excel shall laugh and chortle at the remark and explain to them..."

"Excel-kun, that will be quite enough. It seems that Hyatt-kun has finally come back to life," Hyatt wiped her lips with her handkerchief. "And now you two shall depart to the mystical regions of the Bayankala Mountains in southern China. An anonymous caller has given us a tip on what could be a very effective weapon in the domination of the city. They spoke of cursed springs in which if anyone or thing falls into them, they will turn into the person/animal that had drowned there."

Upon hearing this, Porkchop was squeeling in a frenzy.

"BWEEEEE! BWWEEE BWEE BWE BWEEEE!" (YES! Finally I'm going back to.. Wait. NO! Knowing my luck I'll end up in something like "Spring of the Drowned Girl" and end up being a female pig!)

"Hai! We shall depart for the land of 1 million people and climbing right at once for you Ilpalazzo-sama! C'mon Porkchop!" Excel howled in excitement.

"BWEEEEE!" (NOOOOOOOOO!) Porkchop was grabbed by the hyper blonde and then promptly kicked her in the face and ran away.

"Porkchop! Come baaaaaack! You're my emergency food supply! I need you for dire emergencies!"

"Goodbye Excel-kun." Ilpalazzo grabbed the nearest rope and Excel fell through the pit once again. Except this time, she traveled through the Earth to America, then diagonally to Antarctica, and then backwards in 10 loop-de-loops to the North-Northeast to her destination.

**8:38 JST**

**Bayankala Mountain Region, Southwestern China**

In the quiet, peaceful Bayankala Mountains safe inside China lies the Cursed Springs of Jusenkyo. In the forests that outline it's perimeter, animals were happily nibbling away at their food. Until a high-pitched sound pierced their sensitive ears.

"yyyyyYEEEEEAAAAA..."

An open tree stump began to shake violently. The ground started to tremor also. All the animals in the vicinity ran away as fast as they could as Excel rocketed out of the stump screaming into the air. She then did a backflip with a triple salcow in the air and made a perfect landing on top of the stump.

"YOSHA! 10 points! Excel has landed!" She exclaimed for all to hear. "I wonder where Hy-chan is?"

"Right here behind you senpai" The Martian princess appeared out of thin air as always. "Where is here?"

"I don't know Hy-chan. The loop right after India kinda through off my internal GPS guidance system. Maybe getting up on one of those high, unsturdy looking bamboo poles there in the distance will help us locate this wooded area from which we are lost in."

Excel and Hyatt began their long and treacherous hike towards Jusenkyo.

**

* * *

9:30 AM JST**

**Nerima Park**

When Ranma awoke from his deep sleep, all three of the Tendo sisters were standing around him displaying varying degrees of emotions. Kasumi was shocked, Nabiki was commanding and Akane, of course, was angrier than a yellow jacket during a rainstorm with a lawnmower running over it's nest.

"So, what happened this time? A new suitor? A new challenger? Both?" Nabiki questioned as she began to interrogate Ranma. Nabiki has made quite a fortune over his misery in the past and she was not about to pass up another sweet deal.

"Ranma... Speak now or forever hold your peace as you will be dead if YOU DON'T ANSWER MY SISTER'S QUESTION!" The youngest Tendo threatened.

"Eeep. No No No! It's.. It's neither of them!" Ranma began to plead. "I.. I.. I was just walking back to the dojo across the park cause I was still woozy after getting my stomach pumped yet again and... And... and..."

"AND..." All three of the sisters said in unison.

"And... An angel said that I won the lottery for being the Great Will of the Macrocosm and then he pulled out this weird blue ball of energy and I touched it and I got knocked out afterwards! Yeah.. Yeah that's what happened!" Ranma finished his plea while sweating like a pig.

Nabiki and Akane both busted out laughing while Kasumi just stood there saying "Oh dear."

"So, let me get this straight. Some wandering cosmic being bestowed upon you the Great Will of the Macrocosm?" Nabiki asked while still laughing.

"Yeah right! Like anything good ever happens to you!" Akane interjected.

"You're probably right. My life is cursed isn't it. Everything that I do or happens to me always goes wrong!"

"You could always give it a try." Kasumi suggested nonchalantly. "What harm could come from it?"

"Yer right! But, I didn't pay attention to how it's suppose to work." Ranma laughed.

"Ranma no BAKA!" Screamed Akane. The force of the scream was enough to blow Ranma's hair around in a mess.

Kasumi pointed to his right arm. "What about this blue tattoo on your arm?"

"Tattoo? What tattoo?" Ranma questioned Kasumi.

They all stopped and looked at Ranma's right arm.

"This one." She traced it with her index finger. "See, it goes down your arm in into this circle on your palm. Try channeling some of your ki through it and see what happens."

All three of them stared slackjawed at what Kasumi just said.

"Fine, but what do I wish... For.. ! Never gonna be a girl again! Never gonna be a girl again! NEVER GONNA BE A GIRL AGAIN!" Ranma began to dance a most unusual dance. It resembled that of... Having a mad crab and/or lobster in your pants.

"That's it." Akane said. "He's finally gone and lost it."

With eager anticipation, Ranma began to redirect his ki through the blue chakara and focused on his wish. The tattoo began to glow the most brilliant blue that you have ever seen. The light began to engulf his entire body. The light shone as is the sun was down on the Earth. The three sisters had to shield their eyes so that the could just see the outline of the male aquatransexual. When the light began to fade, everything about Ranma looked just the same.

"I, I still feel the same. What gives!"

"Why don't we test it out!" Akane suggested as she grabbed a kid's bucket of water and threw it onto Ranma.

"BLEAH! What gives Akane? Wait a minute. I'm.. I'm still a guy! YES! Never gonna be a girl again! Never gonna be a girl again!" He resumed his weird dancing ritual.

"I... I can't believe this! Who.. Who in their right minds would give Ranma the Great Will of the Macrocosm? And... How.. How did you know about invoking it Kasumi?" Akane inquired.

Kasumi shrugged. "Just a wild guess I guess."

* * *

AN: Well, that wraps up Chapter 2 of Ookiina ishi wo obiru! How did Kasumi know about taping into I'z-chan's power? Is there something that she's not telling us about herself? Has she been fooling us the entire time into thinking that she was just a housemaid? What will Ranma wish for next? What is Excel and Hyatt going to find a Jusenkyo? Find out next time!

Oh and of course, thanks goes out to Greyman again as well as Red Priest of the 17th Order on the ADDventure. The following episodes were used in the construction of this chapter: "Winning the Prize" (Episode 18), "Pft. Yeah Right" (Episode 701), "I'mah nevah gonnah beah girl-ah-gain!" (Episode 707) and "Ahem... I repeat... I'mah nevah gonnah beah girl-ah-gain!" (Episode 710)

Until next time.

Ja, ne

-Rai


	4. The Seeds of Chaos are Sown

Chapter 3: The Seeds of Chaos are Sown

**9:35 AM JST**

**Nerima Park**

The Tendo sisters stood there at the park staring at Ranma who was currently engaged in his celebratory "I'm never gonna to be a girl again!" dance. This dance is so random and spasmodic that it makes someone who is having a tonic-clonic seizure look like a ballroom dancer.

"I'm never gonna be a girl again! I'm never gonna be a girl again! I'M NEVER GONNA BE A GIRL **AGAIN! HAHAHAHAHA!**"

"This... This just can't be! He... He can't have control over the Great Will of the Macrocosm! His curse must have been lifted some other way. Yeah that's it! It has to be!" Nabiki thought outloud. "Hey Saotome! If you really do have the Great Will within you, why don't you give me a ton of platinum bricks. Do that and I'll wipe all of your debts to me clean."

Akane looked at her older sister quite puzzled. "Don't you mean gold?"

"Nope, platinum is much more expensive than gold."

"Hmmm... A ton of platinum and you will wipe ALL of my debts clean." Ranma grinned widely. "Okaaaaaay Nabiki, you can have it!"

_Heh Heh Heh It's payback time._ Thought Ranma as his arm began to fluoresce. Suddenly out of nowhere, a 12" x 6" x 6" brick of platinum bullion fell onto Nabiki's head.

"Itai!" The girl screamed as she grabbed her head in pain. When she looked down to see what hit her, her eyes got little platinum-colored yen signs where her pupils should have been. Then it occurred to her.

"Hey! Where's the rest of it! I asked for a ton! Huh? Where?"

Seeing as everyone else had their necks craned up to the sky looking above her, she looked up to see the other 99 bricks falling very rapidly.

"**Oh**... kami-sama..."

The next thing everyone knew was the sound of approximately 5128 moles, 980,000 g, 98 percent of a metric ton of platinum squashing the mercenary. The only recognizable part of her body was her arms and legs sprawled out from under the pile of the priceless heavy metal.

"Oh my." Kasumi said non-chalantly.

"Ra... RANMA! You... YOU KILLED MY SISTER! NOW YOU'RE GOING. **TO. _DIE!_**" Howled Akane as her bright blue battle aura flared like that of supergiant star while wielding Mallet-sama. People in the nearby area began to flee for their safety. Animals ran from the forests for the outskirts of the city. And Dr. Tofu sat in his office with a patient having an ominous feeling that he's going to be seeing Ranma again very soon.

"Ah... Akane... Just.. Just... Just hold on for a second!" The pigtailed martial artist pleaded as he watch Akane inch closer towards him. "I can revive her! Seriously! I can bring her back from the dead! And not just as a mindless zombie... A full restoration of how she use to be! Just don't kill me before I can!"

"Well... What are you waiting for? Ryoga to show up! DO IT!" Screamed Akane.

Not wanting to meet his maker just yet, Ranma concentrated all of his ki into the chakara. His whole body began to glow with a soft blue aura which transferred over to Nabiki's still body underneath the pile of metal. Her body was teleported from the pile to in front of everyone and was floating in the air with the aura getting stronger around her. Kasumi looked over at Ranma and started to watch him begin to fade in energy, aura just as strong as before. Right before everyone's eyes, Nabiki opened her eyes slowly and landed on her own two feet on the park soil while the aura faded.

"I'm back! And boy am I glad! That blonde lady was crazy claiming that I have come home to be with her for the rest of eternity! Hey, what's wrong with Saotome?"

Nabiki inquired.

Just as she said that, Ranma's body collapsed to the ground twitching.

"We need to get him back to the dojo so he can rest." Kasumi stated. "He has used up a lot of his energy today and needs to recharge. Invoking the powers of the Great Will is like that of the legendary Ginzoushou, it runs off the person's own life energy."

"Umm... Sis, how do you know that?" Asked Akane and Nabiki in unison as they lifted Ranma up off the ground.

"Oh, I just read it in one of Dr. Tofu's books." Kasumi replied while smiling sweetly.

**

* * *

9:50 AM JST**

**Sea of Chaos, End of the Universe**

Out in the vastness of space is another realm that humans dare not explore. What we believe to be the end of the universe is in fact the beginning of another, greater existence. Our universe sits inside of a realm of chaos and creation. The Ancients have spoken of this place many times as The Sea of Chaos. Within it is the creator and the destroyer. Good and Evil. To give this existence a human personification, we call it, The Lord of Nightmares or L-Sama.

L-sama has no shape or form but does prefer that of a 5' 8" tall, long golden blonde-haired woman in a sleeveless black dress. Her eyes are covered by her bangs enhancing the air of mystery around her. Her body is pure, unadulterated perfection from her full, cherry red lips, full bosom, slender arms, and hourglass body clear down to her long, slender legs. She walks with gracefulness and elegance in every step she makes in her black high-heels as she traverses her mansion deep at the center of the Sea of Chaos. Everything would be perfect if not for one thing...

"There is absolutely NOTHING to do around here when you have done everything!"

She was constantly bored.

"Oh well, at least I find enjoyment in watching my children cope with chaos." L-Sama sighed. "Especially the ones in Nerima. They always bring a big smile to my face when I watch them. And one of them almost came home but I didn't catch her in time!"

Now most of you may be thinking that she has many people who have died over the years with her. If you remember, life is a circle, you're born, you live, you die, then the process begins anew. So when a new person is born into the world, L-sama places a previous soul inside them to begin their life. Due to the different experiences, each life is unique. Not to mention it saves L-sama a whole lot of work in creating a new soul. There are some though that stay behind with her, and Nabiki wasn't one of them.

L-sama sat down in her golden throne with a glass of fine Zephilia wine beside her and watched the previous events in Nerima all centered around one Ranma Saotome.

"Hmm... That's interesting, he shouldn't be wielding sis's powers... Unless..." She examined the surrounding area around Nerima and spotted the soul signature of That Man. "I don't remember sending him back. In fact, he was to be dissolved because of just how evil he was. He's just like Phibrizzo. Oh that kid was annoying me all the time to destroy the world! I showed him a thing or two of what happens when you push L-sama too far." A little smirk came across her face. "But what worries me more is how did he get revived and who performed it. And also, how did he know sis's weakness? Looks like the clean up crew is needed for this one."

L-sama got up from her throne and began walking down the corridor.

"But, if I just send her down, it'll be too easy and not fun at all. Hmm... I wonder..." L-sama pulled up a sphere in front of her and looked in to see Excel and Hyatt, another duo that she loves to watch and toy with, climbing through the forests towards her most favorite place in the world, Jusenkyo, and smirked. "Ah, nice. She's already there. That's one step I don't have to do. I'm glad I thought of giving humans free will, they make some of the dumbest mistakes and I so enjoy watching them hehehe. Now, just to call in the one-woman clean up crew." The sphere shrank and zoomed off in a golden blast looking for the person in question. L-sama returned back to her throne and drank her glass of wine while waiting.

Few minutes later, a womanly figure is seen walking with an eagerness in her stride towards the throne room. The girl stood around 5' 8" with a figure not unlike L-sama's herself. She would almost be a perfect copy if not for her crimson eyes and fiery red-orange hair that went down her back in clumps.

She wore a magenta tunic with off-white trim that is cut into two pieces at the breast to expose her yellow sports bra. An ornate black belt went around her waist with a short sword attatched for fighting when that time of the month comes around. Her yellow panties are accented by magenta leggings which extend down her legs to her gray knee-high boots. Off-white gloves cover her hands up to her elbows. Around her neck, wrists and waist are the legendary Demon Blood Talismans. Black shoulder guards are decorated with a gold trim and big, ruby red jewels embedded into the sides to connect her black and magenta mantle. On her ears were large gold earrings and around her head, a black enchanted headband to hide two moles on her forehead.

This girl had a very famous reputation back in her time and even to the present among magic users. She was called many names like "Enemy of All Things Living" for leaving destruction in her wake whenever she passed.; "Dragon Spooker" due to her short stature and underdeveloped figure back when she was living.; or "Bandit Killer" for her tendencies to rob bandits of their loot. To everyone else, she was the world's most powerful black sorceress, whose name struck fear into every bandit's as well as any person whom evil filled their soul's hearts. Her name, is Lina Inverse.

Lina walked down the corridor with haste and a bit of annoyance spread across her face. Drops of water could be seen making a trail where she walked.

"What is it that you need okaa-san? I was TRYING to take a shower after that cursed mazoku priest decided it would be **just** hilarious to drop me into a vat of slugs! HOW DOES HE KNOW THAT I HATE SLUGS! Icky. Icky. Icky. Icky!" Lina screamed and shook in disgust. "Why won't you let me just kill him with the Raguna Blade and make everyone else's life better!" The red-haired sorceress asked forcefully.

L-sama couldn't help but chuckle at Lina's tale.

"I'm sorry, but he just livens the place up a bit once in a while. Anyways, why I summoned for you. It seems that my sister has gotten into trouble..." L-sama began to give the details of Lina's mission when she was interrupted by Lina.

"Excuse me okaa-san, but, how do you have a sister when you are the original creator of all?"

"Sigh. It's that whole everything has to be equal and balanced stuff." L-sama explained."Yin and Yang. Chaos and Creation. While I represent Chaos to most, my sister, Daiuchuu no Ooinaru Ishi or I'z-chan represents Creation. Just a simple technicality so that people don't go insane trying to figure out how Chaos can be Creation."

"Ahhh... Okay. I get it now..."

"Back to the briefing. She has been kidnapped yet again by a most evil scoundrel named That Man. Someone has resurrected him and now he is working with them to capture I'z-chan's power yet again."

"I think I see where this is going." Lina smirked. "You want me to go down and destroy That Man and rescue I'z-chan if I'm not mistaken." She finished while rubbing her hands together in eagerness. Heck, she was bored too not doing anything else rather than just sitting around and waiting.

"Correct my child. Although things are going to be a bit different this time. It could be possible that the person whom resurrected him could be anticipating someone like you trying to stop them." L-sama lied straight through her teeth. "You are going to be possessing a vessel of unlimited energy that can fuel your powerful magic. Her name is Excel Excel." L-sama showed Lina Excel wandering in the forest. "She is currently on her way to Jusenkyo on a mission sent by her leader Ilpalazzo."

Lina cringed. "Jusenkyo... As in, the place where both me and Naga died? THAT Jusenkyo!"

"Yes, and you will be using the pool where you drowned to possess Excel. Remember, the fate of the world rests in your hands yet again my child. Go and begin your journey."

Lina stood uneasy about the idea of returning to Jusenkyo. Especially after her battle with Naga there and of course, dying.

"I still don't know why I just can't go down as myself..."

"You complete this task as I have stated and you can come back and blast Xelloss to kingdom come. I will neutralize his abilities for the time being and you can have your 'fun' with him." L-sama smirked.

Lina's crimson eyes brightened up as she grinned a big, sharp, toothy grin. Scenes of destruction filled her mind with Xelloss' screams and pleas. "ALRIGHT! I'LL DO IT! Just you wait Xelloss, judgement day is coming! Hehhehehehhe. Ray Wing!" She flew off towards Earth to Jusenkyo and waited for Excel to appear.

L-sama watched as Lina flew off and began to chuckle.

"Let the fun begin."

**

* * *

10:20 AM JST**

**Bayankala Mountain Range, China**

**Cursed Springs of Jusenkyo**

Lina laid in the "Spring of the Drowned Red-Haired, Foul-Tempered Sorceress" waiting of Excel to fall in. If there is one thing she hates, this is it.

"C'mon... Where is this blonde ditz? I don't want to be here any much longer than needed. While I'm thinking about it, might as well stash away the Demon Blood Talismans for later use."

Lina looked around the pool for a secret alcove to stash the magical amplifiers away and found a nice hole inside a rock.

"Hey! I remember this rock! That's where I hit my head!" Lina shuddered. "I pray to L-sama that I'm going to keep my improved, perfect body when I possess Excel."

Just a few ponds away was Lina's target. Excel and Hyatt perused through the springs trying to look for any sign of the living. They saw the different signs near the ponds but could not read them because they were in Chinese.

"Hy-chan, it seems that there is no sign of life around these here ponds for as far as the eye can see! Excel is quite puzzled as there should be savage natives around using these various ponds for bathing purposes. Is this their version of a public bath not unlike where I would want to corner Ilpalazzo one day and make him confess his undying love for me as I have for him! Then after proclaiming our passion we would..." Excel stood there in a daze and was only interrupted back to reality by hearing a torrent of bright red blood hemorrhage from Hyatt's mouth. "Ehhhh.. Maybe that was a little too stimulating for Hy-chan. Not to worry! Excel shall complete the mission without fail! A change in view should help as I jump up to the top of these large bamboo poles which extend from the center of the bathing ponds!"

Excel leaped up to the top of the highest pole in which was directly above the "Spring of the Drowned Red-Haired, Foul-Tempered Sorceress". For protection, she laid Hyatt up next to the pole to revive.

The happy-go-lucky watcher of the Jusenkyo springs was walking around making inspections making sure no one has fell into the cursed springs. He was a portly fellow of short stature carrying around a kettle of hot water. Nearing closer to the center he heard a most loud voice rambling on upon nonsense. This made him laugh a bit until he saw a figure jump up to the top of the highest pole in the region.

"Oh no no no! She above most dangerous spring in area! Oh no no no! Miss!" The guide screamed out to get Excel's attention.

"Ah! A small, round individual is running this way! Now, Excel can figure out what these ponds are suppose to be... WHOA! Excel almost fell off her perch! I need to be more careful or I'll fall to my death and I'z-chan will have to reset the storyline yet again and... Oh! Hy-chan is starting to wake up! Hy-chan! I'm up HEEREEE! KYYYYYYAAAAaaaaaaaaa..."

Unnoticed by Excel was that Hyatt had accidentally bumped the bamboo pole when she awoke from her anemic state. Now Excel was falling through the air with the gracefulness of a lead brick with her ponytail flying straight up behind her.

"Oh Ilpalazzo-sama! Excel is sorry for the predicament that has befallen her! How was I suppose to know that I could have... SPLASH!"

Lina grabbed a hold of Excel and entered her body as the magic of the spring began to take effect. Excel's dirty blonde hair became redder and lighter until it shone with a red-orange glow. Her emerald green eyes widened and became deep crimson. Her oblique tooth receded back into her mouth as her face became more child-like. Her stature got smaller and smaller until she was around 5' 0". Her figure shrank causing her her bra camisole to hang off of her body. Her jacket and shorts which were already one size too small became a perfect fit to her new body. Her gloves and boots became bigger as her hands a feet shrank with her stature. When the transformation was complete, Excel awoke to consciousness and gasped for air. She swam to the top of the spring and jumped out like a torpedo.

"GASSP! Hy-chan! What.. what happened! I'm still alive! Yes! Excel lives through another life-or-death experience to serve Ilpalazzo-sama yet another day! Funny, I don't remember my clothes being so big before? Or having red-orange hair... Or my voice being this high. Why do you look puzzled Hy-chan? Is something wrong?"

The Guide appeared out of nowhere out of breath. "Oh no! I'm too late! You fall into most dangerous spring. 'Spring of the Drowned Red-Haired, Foul-Tempered Sorceress'. Very tragic story about sorceress Lina Inverse who fell in after drowning Naga the Serpent in adjacent spring."

_The hell I drowned her! How was I suppose to know that she raided a bunch of Amazon bandits prior to our battle! Had I known, I'd taken them off of her for myself! Only one question, where in the world did she hide it!_ Lina explained but Excel was not listening.

"Whoever fall in spring take cursed form of her. See." The guide pointed to X/Lina's (**Ex**cel/**Lina**) reflection in the water. She looked at her reflection. Where a tall, 5' 8", blonde, young adult should have stood was a petite, 5' 0", red-haired child. There was only one reaction that was appropriate at this time.

"KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! My sexy body! Ilpalazzo-sama is not going to want to be in love with a child who has yet to experience the joys of puberty yet!" X/Lina wailed.

_Wait a minute, child who has yet to... OH NO! IT CAN'T BE!_

Lina also looked at her reflection.

_GAH! I'M BACK IN MY ORIGINAL BODY! **OKAAA-SAAANN!**_ Lina screamed as she heard L-sama laughing. Again, Excel was not listening.

"Ah, so that's what these ponds are for senpai. Senpai?" Hyatt looked at X/Lina pitching a royal fit.

X/Lina pounded the ground while waterfalls of tears sprang from her eyes a la Usagi. When she stopped whining, an idea came to her. "I got it! I'Z-CHANNN! CHANGE ME BACK PLEASE!"

A tumbleweed blew by while the group was waiting.

"No dice there, AHH! Atsui atsui atsui! Huh!" Excel stood there back to normal as The Guide poured his kettle of boiling water over the cursed blonde."I'm back! Excel is back in her sexy body! But, where is I'z-chan? Normally she shows up by now? Unless she's busy with Pedro."

"Cold water activate curse, hot water deactivate." The Guide explained.

"I see. I shall remember that for when senpai comes in contact with cold water. Which is fairly often." Hyatt stated.

_It's going to be a looooooong day_ Lina sighed.

"Hunh? Who said that to Excel? Who's there inside Excel's head!" Excel inquired. "No one... So, anyways. Thank you dear member of the ignorant masses. We shall be off now to keep with our great leader's agenda for which the domination of the City of F is near! And Excel will be at Ilpalazzo-sama's right side praising him with joy and jubilation and passionate love! Goodbye! C'mon Hy-chan before you pass out again which according to the position of the sun maybe really soon."

Excel grabbed Hyatt and ran through the forest as is there were no trees in the way at 50 mph.

"Ho Ho Ho! She funny girl."

"AAAAHHH! SPLASH" A distant voice cried out.

"Oop! Back to work!" The Guide walked over to the latest victim of the Cursed Springs of Jusenkyo.

* * *

AN: Whew! Another chapter hot off the keyboard! Just think of what craziness is about to occur in the next chapters XD Huh? looks back to see a mob of lawyers! AHHH! LAWYERS! I FORGOT TO GIVE OUT A DISCLAIMER! OoO;;;

Excel Saga and characters thereof are property of Rikudo Koushi and J.C. Staff.

Ranma 1/2 and characters belong to Takahashi Rumiko.

Slayers is the work of Kanzaka Hajime, Araizumi Rui and Kadokawa Shoten.

Sailor Moon is copyright Takeuchi Naoko, Toei and Kodansha

Whew, that should cover everything. Now back off vicious lawyers! Raichu growls and charges up to shock the mob BACK BACK! Go chase an ambulance or something!

Raichu: RAIIICHUUUUUU! shocks the mob

Lawyer Mob: We'll sue agaaaiiiinnnnn! insert obligatory ping.

Until next time!

Ja ne,

-Rai


	5. Revelations

Chapter 4: Revelations

**12:30 PM JST**

**ACROSS-HQ**

In the quiet halls of the secret ACROSS-HQ, it's faithful and determined leader Ilpalazzo was sitting back and relaxing. One of his many favorite pastimes is to sit down and play his ren'ai games, otherwise known as love simulation games. The latest game from Nabesoft had just come out for the Game Boy Advance, Love Hena Again. Ilpalazzo was at a critical point in the game. The entire game rested on the decision he was about to make. To make the wrong choice resulted in the dreaded Bad End.

"Okay. This is it. This selection determines it all. Do I talk to her, ignore her, or kiss her?"

He sweated pools of sweat in nervousness. He was shaking worse than an earthquake. His delicate fingers went to select the option when...

"HAIL! ILPALAZZO! Excel as returned from her treacherous journey to the mystic land of China!"

His most loyal agent Excel busted through the door and startled him. He accidentally selected kiss her.

"PIG! SLAP! How dare you kiss me! I... I'm not ready yet! runs away crying" Went the girl in the game.

_**BAD END**_

The leader's eye twitched as he stared at Excel in anger. "This better be good Excel-kun..."

"Oh but it is Ilpalazzo-sama! The trip to China was a mystical ride indeed complete with mind boggling loop-de-loops and rocketing out of tree stumps. After arriving near the springs that we were assigned by you, our dear leader and lord, to investigate the cursed springs in the middle of the mountains of ChinaaaaahhHHHHH!"

Excel's rant was cut short by the appearance of a sudden drop beneath her feet. Evidently, Ilpalazzo thought that she's talked enough and so turned to his calmer agent for the rest of the story.

"Hyatt-kun, what happened on your mission to China?" Ilpalazzo asked while a splash could be heard in the background.

"Well, we found the cursed springs like you said and... senpai fell into one of the springs."

"Interesting, so what did she transform into?"

"_RAY WING!_" cried a voice from the pit as X/Lina came flying out and landed on her face. "WOW! How did I do that!" She exclaimed.

_Hehehehe... I can do **much** more than just that. Just wait._ Lina chuckled.

"Huh? There's that voice again. Ilpalazzo-sama! The curses at the springs are hideous! Look! Excel has been changed into a short, red-haired kid who is not

exquisitely developed as Excel's normal body for you Ilpalazzo-sama! I can't live like this! WAAAAAAAAAAAH!" X/Lina cried.

_Get over it! I had to live like this my ENTIRE life!_ Lina chided Excel.

"NOOOOOO!"

"The guide of the springs said that senpai has been cursed with the form of a famous sorceress called Lina Inverse. From the title of the spring 'Spring of the Drowned Red-Headed, Hot Tempered Sorceress.' I'm guessing that she is a force. COUGH to be... COUGH! GASP!" The blueberry-haired girl collapsed on the floor.

_Is she going to be alright?_

"Hmmm... Hyatt has fallen ill again. Excel-kun... Excel-kun!"

X/Lina stood up at attention at Ilpalazzo's voice. "Yes Ilpalazzo-sama!"

"Please, finish your report for me."

"Hai! Well, after falling in and transforming into the short, underdeveloped body that you see here. I tried to call on I'z-chan to come and fix everything as I do believe that this is a serious tangent from where the storyline of our great adventure is suppose to be. We waited for 2 minutes and she didn't show! Either something has happened to her or she is busy with Pedro again. Poor Pedro. Also, the guide of the ignorant masses poured hot, boiling water on me while cursed and the curse became reversed! Excel was so ecstatic that she ran through the forest as fast as she could so as to make it back to give her report to you Ilpalazzo-sama!" X/Lina finished the report in breaths.

"I see. Lets have a little experiment shall we?" Ilpalazzo proposed as he walked over to the whistling hot water kettle. "I was going to use this for my ramen but, I think this will prove more interesting." He said as he poured its contents over the red-head.

"ATSUI! AHAHA! Excel is back to normal thanks to the resourcefulness of Ilpalazzo-sama!" She exclaimed as she began to dance around the room.

"It would seem that the cursed springs are true as to what they say. I remember hearing of a group in the Nerima ward who have been affected by it's waters. What worries me more though is the thought that I'z-chan did not appear when you called. Hmmm..." Ilpalazzo said as he watched Excel dance around without listening to an entire word. He took the most appropriate means of grabbing her attention.

"YEEEEEeeeeaaaaahhhhh... SPLASH!" The hyper blonde fell down the shaft yet again.

"When will you ever learn Excel-kun?"

Lina had fallen asleep after listening to Excel drone on. Dropping her down the shaft again gave her a rude awakening.

_OKAY! That's it! Enough of watching from the sidelines. I'm taking over now!_

She forced herself into control of Excel's body shoving Excel's spirit into the darkness from where she came.

"RAY WING!" A ticked off red-head flew up the shaft and landed gracefully. "What in the HELL was that for!"

"You wasn't paying attention to what I was saying."

"DID THAT MEAN DROPPING ME DOWN INTO THAT PIT? DIEM WING!" X/Lina screamed as she blasted a hurricane force wind from her palms.

The wind blast knocked over Ilpalazzo's throne and blew both him and it clear to the back of the room.

A second later after Lina recessed back into the darkness of Excel's mind, Excel was back in control and wondering what had happened.

"Huh? Wha happened? Excel felt like she blanked out and was in a different dimension or some different place than where her body was at." She said as she was looking around and spotted Ilpalazzo standing up less than happy, glaring at her.

"EXCEL-KUN!" He screamed as he unveiled a heavy-duty army machine gun from under his cloak. "For that attack, you have till the count of 10 to get out of here and don't come back for the rest of the day! 1.. 2.."

"But Ilpalazzo-sama! I don't know what happened! One minute I was dancing around the room about your greatness and for punishment you dropped me down the pit again and then the next minute..."

"10!" The dictator began firing on X/Lina.

"KYAAA! C'mon Hy-chan! Let's get out of here!" She screamed as she grabbed her not yet resuscitated partner and fled from the shower of bullets.

"Sigh, sometimes I wonder what I could accomplish without having Excel around." Ilpalazzo thought out loud as he moved his throne back into position and sat down to play his game again. "Wait a minute... Did she say she didn't know what happened?"

**

* * *

1:15 PM JST**

**Excel and Hyatt's Apt. Complex**

Anyone in the surrounding area could tell you how normal it was to see a certain hyper blonde dragging a blue-haired, pale looking girl in the air through the streets of F City. Never before had they seen a petite red-head dragging the same girl and by the looks of it, she shouldn't be able to in the first place. X/Lina dragged Hyatt towards their apartment in hopes of getting a nice hot shower to reverse the curse.

"Target objective is just over the horizon! We shall be home in just a few minutes Hy-chan so we can relax after a very eventful trip over the ocean and also wait till Ilpalazzo-sama cools down a bit after the little escapade that happened back at HQ after dropping me into the pit and me losing control of my body. OH! I'm really beginning to hate this curse! Not just the lack of Excel's perfect sexy figure but the temper tantrums and... And.. GROWL! Excel can't control her hunger anymore!"

After a long night of putting up with his inept roommates and Kabapu's inane ramblings of justice and protection, Tooru Watanabe wanted nothing more than to just sleep for the rest of the day. He was getting ready to lay his head down on his nice, comfy futon when he heard the shrill screaming of a kid rambling on about nonsense. Think it was Ropponomatsu II again, he threw open his door to scream and saw X/Lina dragging Hyatt.

"Ayasugi-san! Hey kid! Stop that! Don't drag Ayasugi-san like that!" Watanabe screamed as he jumped over the railing and grabbed Hyatt away from X/Lina. "She's not breathing!" Hey kid, why haven't you taken her to the hospital!"

"Number one, I'm not a kid." X/Lina was starting to get a little frustrated. "Two, she'll be fine here in just a few minutes, this happens to her normally. And three, I'm starving!"

"Number one, you look like a kid, you sound like a kid, you are a kid. Two, people don't just jump up and walk away fine after their heart's stopped beating. Three, food can wait! Ayasugi-san is dying! I need to start CPR!" Watanabe stated while scenes of CPR on Hyatt ran through his mind causing him to drool. He leaned over Hyatt's supine body ready to begin opening her airway and mouth-to-mouth when...

"UPPERCUT! That's for calling me a kid! aaaand KICK for trying to rape Hy-chan!" X/Lina's punch landed with precise accuracy on Watanabe's jaw, thrusting him into the air. She jumped up into the air and finished with a roundhouse kick sending him back into his apartment. Hyatt woke up to see X/Lina suspended in the air after the kick.

"How long was I out this time?" She asked while wiping away a trickle of blood from her mouth.

"I'd say 30 minutes or so?"

"Oh, okay senpai." She replied after writing down the time in her death journal.

Once they were inside, X/Lina headed immediately towards the kitchen to find sustenance. She threw open the cupboards faster than you can say starving only to find them barer than Ol Mother Hubbard's.

_GAH! No food and I'm starving!_

"Ahhhh! Not good! The cupboards are barer than Excel's stomach and the pains are getting worse! I know what to do! Porkchop! Porkchop!"

No response...

"No reaction..." X/Lina pondered about what to do next when Hyatt came by and poured a kettle of hot water over her head. "Ah! As always! You have the right idea Hy-chan! What would I be able to do without you around?" Excel screamed at the top of her lungs.

"I don't know senpai."

"And now, after a long hard day of travel to foreign far away lands under the guidance of Ilpalazzo-sama, it's time for a nice, hot, long, soaking, wrinkling, pruning, boiling, hot, bubble-overflowing bath! Iku yo!" Excel exclaimed as she bolted throwing her clothes off towards the bathroom. The bathroom door closed automatically from the draft of Excel's sprint.

**

* * *

2:00 PM JST**

**Tendo Dojo**

**Nerima, Tokyo, Japan**

It was only earlier that morning that Ranma had been given control of the Great Will of the Macrocosm. He has already made his greatest wish come true, the removal of his dreaded Jusenkyo curse. As he laid down in slumber, restoring energy he expended earlier from channeling his ki into I'z-chan, he began to think of other wishes he would like to grant to make life more livable. But for now, all he wanted to do was enjoy this time of peace.

"WHAT? DID YOU SAY THAT RANMA HAS CONTROL OVER THE GREAT WILL!"

Peace... In Nerima... Yeah RIGHT!

Ranma cringed as he heard the stampede of footsteps running towards his room. Not to mention the screaming and hollering of the different residents of the Tendo household. The first to bust through the door were the fathers Genma and Soun. The youngest daughters soon followed scolding them about what they were about to do.

"Son! Our biggest dreams can come true now! We can be rich beyond out wildest dreams! We can be masters over every martial art in history! We can both be rid of our curses!" Genma proclaimed.

"The families can finally be united! I'm.. sobbing so... So... Happy! Wahahahaha." Soun cried while chewing on a handkerchief.

"And best of all... The evil master can be banished forever!" Genma and Soun shouted in sync.

"Who said they were going to banish me away forever?" Happosai inquired as he hopped onto the scene. "Ranma my boy, you need to wish that all the young, beautiful girls in the entire world were automatically attracted to me!"

"Will everyone quit making suggestions for him! It's his power, he can do whatever he wants with it!" Akane screamed.

Nabiki looked over at Akane with a quizzical eye. "That's quite a change in your attitude. Do I sense some fear in your voice?"

"Uh... No, it's just that..."

"It's fear. You're afraid he's going to do something to you aren't ya?" Nabiki grinned.

The cacophony of sounds became louder and louder as everyone was yelling at each other until..

"SHUT... UP!"

Amazingly, that didn't come from Ranma or Akane. Everyone turned towards the person in the room who screamed for everyone to be quiet. Their eyes landed on dear, sweet Kasumi. Everyone's jaw automatically went limp at the thought of Kasumi being mad.

"Now, why don't we let him wish for what he wants to wish for."

"Okay, who are you and what have you done with my daughter!" Soun shouted a la demon head.

Kasumi just smiled sweetly. "Sorry, I lost my temper there for a minute. It's still me father."

"Actually, no you're not. Are you Bell-chan?" Ranma awoke to hearing Kasumi screaming and finally put two and two together.

Everyone turned back to Kasumi who was blushing at Ranma's question. They watched as Ranma walked over and tapped her lightly on the nose. In a great flash of brilliant white light, the onlookers watched as Kasumi's body began to transform. Her hair fell out of her ponytail and grew out in long strands of medium-light brown, framing her face. Her eyes changed to the purest blue. A blue diamond appeared on her forehead along with blue triangles on her cheeks under her eyes. Her sundress collapsed and then billowed out into a radiant blue robe with gold trim. Where the person they thought was Kasumi stood was now Belldandy, Norn of the Present.

She opened up her eyes. "How did you figure it out Ranma-kun?" She asked with the softest of voices.

"I think the Will is giving me a sixth sense in being able to sense deities. So, why are you here anyways?"

Nabiki looked at Belldandy with rapt attention. _I knew there was something different about Kasumi by the way she was acting._

"Well, you see. With having the powers of the Great Will ingrained in your soul, you will be having various people chasing after you to harness it's powers. And I don't just mean residents of Nerima." Belldandy explained. "More specifically is a girl by the name of Excel Excel from the city of F. She and her partner Hyatt, a Martian princess, are constantly getting maimed, slaughtered, killed out of story context. They require that the Great Will of the Macrocosm be able to revive them should such an event occur."

"So they're just unlucky. So what?" Ranma huffed.

"They will be seeking you soon to recapture the Will and will bring untold chaos to Nerima."

"Nothing new there." Nabiki interjected.

"Uh huh.. Well I'll just deal with it when it comes! As for right now..." Ranma looked into the mass of dojo residents in front of him. "I have other things I want to take care of!" He grinned.

_Oh crap._ Thought Nabiki and Akane.

"First off you Akane!" He pointed an accusing finger at the youngest Tendo. The crowd split in two leaving her in the middle. "I wish..."

Akane stood there in utter fear. She had never felt anything like this in her entire life except when her Mother died. She was shaking from head to toe. The bright blue aura was starting to surround her body.

"I wish..."

Everyone sweated buckets in anticipation. What was Ranma going to do to Akane? She was the most violent one towards him which meant he could have pent up anger against her. Was he going to show mercy or had the power made him drunk in the head, clouding reasonable thought. They braced themselves for the worst.

"I WISH YOU HAD BETTER COOKING SKILLS!"

Everyone else except Belldandy who had her fingers up to her mouth giggling facefaulted.

"IS THAT ALL? YOU HAD ME SO WORRIED I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO KILL ME OR WORSE!" Akane screamed in anger as she ran towards him full speed.

"Nnnow wait a minute Akane! I did that so that everyone could CLANG!"

Ranma was out cold from Akane's attack.

"Well, that's different." Nabiki said.

"What do you mean? He was just being a jerk as always!" Akane retorted.

"No, the frying pan technique there." She replied while pointing to Akane's T-FAL skillet which now had a Ranma-shaped dent in the bottom of it. "Figures Saotome would choose something based on martial arts."

"YAY! AKANE CAN FINALLY COOK!" Soun, Genma and Happosai both rejoiced in jubilee. They stopped celebrating when Akane turned towards them.

"Oh... CAN IT!"

* * *

AN: Yay! The fourth installment! I'm soooooo sorry about the long delay! A serious case of writer's block stopped me dead in my tracks as school was starting and getting in gear. To make up for it. The next chapter will be a fun omake chapter... or two... depends! XD.

Thanks goes out to Greyman and Red Priest of the 17th Order for writing "Akane Can Cook?" (Episode 722) and "Kasumi is a Norn?" (Episode 816) on the Anime ADDventure )

Until later... ja, ne

-Rai


	6. OMAKE! What REALLY Happened to Menchi

Inside ACROSS-HQ, Koushi Rikudo stands to the side with a whistle and in sweatpants.

"ALRIGHT! ICH NI SAN GO! Give me an O!"

Kasumi cartwheels out of nowhere in a cheerleader uniform. "O!"

"Give me an M!"

Nabiki jumps onto the scene counting money. "M!"

"Give me an A!"

Akane appears swinging Mallet-sama. "A!"

"Give me a K!"

Lina appears in the idol uniform from NEXT "K! And why the hell am I wearing this uniform again?"

"Give me an E!"

Hyat appears vomiting blood. "e!" then passes out.

"What does that SPELL?"

Excel shouts at the top of her lungs while doing a split. "OH-EM-AY-KAY-EE!"

Rikudo-sensei turns towards Ilpalazzo and nods. Ilpalazzo yanks on the rope that says "If Excel says something stupid." and she falls down the mine shaft yet again.

"Ahem! What does that SPELL?"

All four girls scream at once. "OMAKE!" as Hyatt goes "ke..."

The title screen appears

* * *

KOUSHI RIKUDO PROUDLY PRESENTS:

**OOKIINA ISHI WO OBIRU**

(WITH GREAT WILL...)

AN EXCEL SAGA/RANMA 1/2/SLAYERS CROSS-OVER!

* * *

"That is correct!" Rikudo-sensei compliments them on a good job as he turns to stamp over the screen.

_**OMAKE!**_

1. What REALLY Happened to Menchi.

Excel and Hyatt were returning to the city of F after yet another failed mission. Objective: Discover the famed Sailor Senshi of Juuban identities. Mission Status: Not Good. They were able to track the senshi down, however, they did not realize that if spotted they would have to pay the penalty. They spent the next 3 days in the Juuban General Hospital burn unit recovering from 1st and 2nd degree burns, electrical burns, and... Hypothermia. Now, in treatment of burns, they get all their fluids IV so nothing P.O. which meant, they were starting to get a bit hungry.

"Excel feels as if there is a knot in her stomach and it is growing, trying to consume what organs are in her body to satisfy it's hunger!" Excel cried out in pain clutching her stomach. "We need to find food soon Hy-chan! It has been over four days since we've eaten last! Not to mention that we are in need of proper nutrition to help heal the burns that we obtained from discovering who Sailor Mars really is."

"But senpai, we don't have any more money that Ilpalazzo-sama had left with us for the trip. Most of it went into our medical expenses."

"IIYADAA!" Excel screamed with tears falling like waterfalls from her emerald eyes. "Excel doesn't want to die like this from a natural urge to consume food when all the body's resources have been utilized! There is still so much I have yet do to for Ilpalazzo-sama in his conquest of the city of F! And you Hy-chan and looking paler than usual. Have the rumblings of your sickly stomach finally broken down your will to perservere?"

"Hai senpai."

Menchi just walked past them both barking... meowing... barkowing lightly

Excel's head perked up at the sight and sound of her 'Emergency Food Supply'.

"Meeeennnchiiiii" She called out with a demented face. Food dishes appeared in her mind. All prepared from Menchi. Excel crawled over to the white dog with drool hanging out of her mouth. Menchi began to shake in fear as she could sense that her end was finally near.

"Excelu! Don't eat dear Menchi!" A voice cried out.

"Huh?" Excel turned around to see Good Excel standing behind her."I thought you were in jail after killing Bad Excel?"

"My lawyer Cocchran Excel got me off the hook. But Et-chan! Don't consume poor Menchi. She has been by your side everyday since you found her wasting away at that construction site. You've nurtured her for months and have resisted eating her many times before."

"You're right... I can never eat Menchi! She's too precious to me." Excel cried.

"Now Et-chan, go and find..." Good Excel was interrupted by a tap on the back. She turned around to see the last person she ever wanted to see. "Bbbbbbad Excel, h..H.. How are ya doing?" Behind her stood her archnemesis Bad Excel whom she shot with a pistol and believed to be dead.

"Doin' good. You however, aren't goin' to be!" The devilish Excel pulled out a humongous, flaming pitchfork from behind her back.

"Eeep. Now jest wait a minute! Can't ya take a joke! I was just kiddin' when I shot ya!" The angelic Excel replied shaking in fear and backing away at a rapid rate.

"Nah. Now.. DIE!" Bad Excel lunged at Good Excel and the both started fighting in a large dust cloud of debris. They moved throughout the area knocking over trees and such. They both disappeared over the horizon.

Excel and Hyatt were stunned at the sudden turn of events and just stared. They were brought back to reality when both of their stomachs growled craving sustenance.

"AHH! That's it. Excel can't take it no more! MENNNNCHII!" The blonde jumped at the innocent dog that was just standing there still as a board and proceeded to prepare Menchi Cutlets with Apple Sauce.

Excel and Hyatt then proceeded to eat their meal.

"Yum Yum Yum! Excel is now ready to get back to Ilpalazzo-sama and report her findings on her mission!"

"Who would have thought that Menchi tasted a lot like Spam? Did you senpai?"

**

* * *

Juuban, Minatou-ku, Tokyo, Japan**

Menchi walked down the streets of Juuban with her cherubs above her playing Ludwig van Beethoven's "Ode to Joy". Finally! She had escaped Excel's clutches and repeated attempts to eat her! She was free! She was alive! She was... Hungry. Menchi, like her previous owner, had only eaten enough to survive during her stay. The effects of malnutrition were finally starting to affect her frail body. She collapsed in the middle of the street.

"Oh come on back! I swear I won't use the thermometer again!" A girl's voice cried out for her cat who was running ahead of her in fear.

A pure white cat with a golden crescent moon on his forehead ran down the street and found Menchi laying there shivering in hunger. "Eep. Dog! But this one is near dead! Hey! Over here!"

A 5' 6", golden-blonde haired girl with a red bow in her hair, with blue eyes stood there in a white nurse's uniform complete with hat.

"Artemis! There you are! Now come back here and... That poor dog it looks like it's going to die! I bet it's starving! C'mon Artemis lets go home and give this poor dog some food and water." She knelt down and picked up Menchi and threw her over her shoulders.

"Now wait a minute Mina! I never agreed to live with a dog! I hate dogs and dogs hate me!"

Menchi just laid there on Mina's shoulder relaxing on her soft blonde hair.

"We need to take this dog back and give it a thorough check-up also! Nurse Minako Aino is on the case!" Mina chirped cheerfully as she skipped away holding Menchi.

Suddenly, Menchi had that sense of impending doom she felt when she was around Excel.

_Well, better the dog than me._ Thought Artemis as he followed Mina back home.

* * *

AN: OO;; Poor Menchi... She's been found by Nurse Mina! THE HORROR! XD Oh, and the reason for the redneck dialect with Good and Bad Excel. When Good Excel appears, she uses formal speech. Bad Excel however uses Kansai dialect which is similar to redneck. After she appears, Good Excel switches over to it also. It's all in the first episode.

Ja, ne

-Rai


	7. Onwards to Nerima!

Chapter 5: Onwards to Nerima!

**4:00 PM JST**

**Tendo Dojo**

Belldandy sat beside Ranma in his room while he slept off his brand new concussion courtesy of Akane. She just sat there and smiled while looking at him thinking about what he may be dreaming of.

"Don't you worry Ranma-kun, I will protect you and your gift."

Nabiki walked in after hearing this.

"So, the old pervert says that things are really serious when the Norn's get involved. Is this true or is he lying through his teeth like always? Cause I can not find anything through my sources on who or what you are."

Bell-chan just smiled at Nabiki. "We don't normally just appear when things are about to get serious. Most of the time it's to help the less fortunate out with their problems they're facing. Ranma-kun here has been one of the special cases. We haven't been able to do much with him because Yggdrasil said not to get involved. Only recently did it say to help him out with him acquiring the Great Will."

"Ah... So I see." Nabiki smirked. "Oh and by the way, what happened to the real Kasumi? We're kinda wondering cause even though Akane has now been given excellent cooking skills courtesy of Ranma, none of us are good at cleaning up the dojo and well... Lets just say she's needed right about now."

"Hehehe. She's still sleeping in her room. You can go wake her up at anytime."

"Okay, thanks." Nabiki rushed to Kasumi's room. "Sis, wake up! The entire fiancee brigade has just ripped through the living room and are tearing the dojo to pieces looking for Saotome's dead-beat father!"

"Oh dear." Kasumi awoke.

Bell-chan looked down at Ranma grinning while his arm was glowing a soft blue and giggled.

**

* * *

11:00 PM JST**

**Excel and Hyatt's Apt. Complex**

Nights in the city of F were calm and peaceful as opposed to it's crazy and insane days. Most of everyone are sleeping peacefully in their comfy beds or futons, dreaming dreams. Dreams of wishes. Dreams of happiness. Dreams of pleasure. You name it. For Excel and Hyatt though, their dreams are a little skewed if you say. Hyatt doesn't dream. She has near-death experiences. As for Excel...

"Oh Ilpalazzo-sama! Please! Please! Please!"

You really don't want to know.

"Please let your most humble servant Excel wash your most holy porcelain throne so that it sparkles like the light of day while you are doing your private matters!"

_Great... Why do I have to be tortured with this insane dreaming? Nice going okaa-san..._

Lina stood by the entrance of the ACROSS-HQ bathroom watching as Excel happily scrubbed down the fuhrer's toilet. As if it wasn't bad enough... Excel was singing way off-key about her love and praise for Ilpalazzo a la the first episode.

"Okay... This girl has some serious issues... She's nuttier than Martina was over Gourry!" Lina said under her breath.

Just then, Ilpalazzo popped in out of nowhere holding hands with Key, the rocker/messenger from ACROSS's main branch. It would not have been disturbing if they didn't have huge grins on their faces. Excel turned from her scrubbing duties to drool at the scene.

"Oh no... I don't like where this is going ONE BIT!" Lina squeaked out.

"My life has been lifted up since I met my dear Ilpala-kun." Key said in a sugary sweet voice.

"And I too, Key-chan." Ilpalazzo replied back as he leaned in for a kiss.

Excel was starting to get ready to pounce the two bishounen.

"AAAAGHH! Oh for the love of L-sama! Would you please quit it!" Lina cried out in agony. "Dil... BRAND!" The ground beneath Excel's feet bubbled up and exploded with the force of 10 sticks of dynamite. The force from the blast blew Lina's hair and mantle behind her. Excel on the other hand, was kissing the sky.

"KYAAAAAAAAAA!"

"Much better." Lina explained as she dusted herself off from the explosion.

Excel fell facefirst into the crater left by the shamanistic spell with her feet sticking straight up in the air. The entire scene with Ilpalazzo and the ACROSS-HQ bathroom dissolved away into nothingness leaving only Lina and Excel.

"Now get up. We need to have a little discussion."

Excel sprang back up from the floor like a jack-in-the-box. "That was nothing compared to what Ilpalazzo-sama puts me through on a daily basis! For him I'll climb to the highest mountain without proper clothing and through fires hotter than the flames of Hell and..."

"And I get the point." Lina interrupted. "Since we're going to be sharing the same body together, I think we need to sit down and get certain facts straight."

"Nani? Aren't you that girl named Lina Inverse who's spirit is inhabiting my body after I fell into the spring you drowned in over 1,000 years ago?"

"Yep! That's me. The beautiful, talented, genius sorceress Lina Inverse at your service." Lina replied.

"Ah! But, I'd say more cute than beautiful since you look like you have yet to mature. Especially your height and breasts." Excel stated the obvious "

"Thank you very much, Miss Obvious." Lina twitched. "The reason I'm here is that we need to talk. Girl to girl."

"Okay! Shoot!" The scenery changes from Ilpalazzo's bathroom to the main hall of ACROSS HQ.

"Alright, I'm guessing that you have been getting pretty sick and tired of transforming into me when splashed with cold water. Correct?"

"Undoubtedly so! It is very annoying when Excel transforms into your physique and all the problems that comes with it, especially ravaging hunger."

"That's one of the pitfalls of being a powerful sorceress. Now, you've already tried to..."

"Wait a minute, you're a powerful sorceress! Using powerful magic spells and incantations that can level cities and allow the user to do what ever they feel like they want! Can you please teach Excel so she can impress Ilpalazzo-sama and help him takeover the city of F?"

"Grrr... NOT NOW! Ahem, as I was saying. You've tried to call on Daiuchuu no Ooinaru Ishi to come and remove said curse but she never came."

"She was probably busy with Pedro. She has a tendency not to answer her calls when she's busy raping the poor guy."

Lina cringed. _Tooooooo much information!_ "Okay, well that's not the case. She's been kidnapped and you and me need to retrieve her!"

"Who would want to kidnap I'z-chan?"

Lina made a projection of That Man in front of Excel. "Him. And this is not the first time he's tried something like this. This time he may succeed in his goal if we do not retrieve I'z-chan."

"Uh huh...! If Excel retrieves I'z-chan and brings her back to Ilpalazzo-sama... ILPALAZZO-SAMA WILL LOVE HER FOR BRINGING BACK THE ONLY OPTION FOR US TO CONTINUE IN OUR ENDLESS PURSUIT OF CITY DOMINATION!"

Lina just stood there and sweatdropped.

"Alright, so, are we going to be working together on this mission to help the efforts of the great organization known as ACROSS!"

"Yeah... But, there's a price for my services."

"How can you have a price for your work if you are dead and deceased? You don't have any use for material possessions in the afterlife? Oh, and by the way, have you encountered Hy-chan any whenever she tries to crossover a little to prematurely?"

"Uh.. No. And I didn't say that I needed money! I just need you to remember to eat one extremely large meal at LEAST once a day. If not... I get cranky."

"Hai! Excel will make sure she eats one extra large meal once a day so as to keep up our energy! If needed, we will resort to our emergency food supply Porkchop!"

"Great! Now, get some rest... We have a long day ahead of us tomorrow. Night!" Lina appeared in her pajamas and fell asleep.

"Good Night Lina-chan! Excel will see you in the morning." Excel turned around to see another dream beginning and ran at Mach 1 towards the dream.

"Hopefully this is still the same dream I was in where I almost had both Ilpalazzo-sama and Key finally!" She screamed in joy. When she appeared in the dream... She and Hyatt were being hung over a pole by their hands a feet over a roaring fire being turned on a spit. A tribe of indigenous Menchis were smearing BBQ sauce over their bodies and seasoning them to taste.

"KYAAA! THIS ISN'T THE DREAM I WAS WANTING!"

**

* * *

Saturday, July 18, 200X**

**11:00 AM JST**

**Somewhere Between Minatou-ku and Nerima wards, Tokyo, Japan**

Excel and Hyatt got off to a great start. Ilpalazzo was generous enough to give them 10,000 yen for the entire trip. He made it another intelligence gathering mission for them to spy on the people of Nerima. Find out what secrets they hold behind the will-napping of I'z-chan and return her safe and sound to the City of F so as ACROSS can continue their goal of City Domination. It all went downhill from there.

They began their journey towards Nerima. Hyatt was walking along side her senpai and stared at her as Excel talked to herself. However, this is unlike her normal ramblings to herself. It actually seemed as if she was really talking to someone beside her.

"So... To use the magic requires a lot of concentration and patience and magical energy... Excel has more than enough energy to go around! Even when my body is being racked by the depletion of nutrients from not getting a decent meal in over four days! The metabolic processes in Excel's body goes into hyperdrive in stealing nutrients from her already deprived tissues to supply her with the energy needed to get through till the next binge after payday!" Excel rambled on as Lina explained how to use magic.

_YOU'RE NOT GETTING THE POINT! Sorceresses need to consume massive amounts of food (or alcohol in Naga's case...) to keep their energy reserves up! Not to mention physical well-being is a BIG must!_ Lina derided.

"Eh? But Excel is in top physical shape to overcome any harm that may come her way! Excessive training via Ilpalazzo-sama's patented technique of animal torture has given Excel the abilities to take on any foe that may come in the way of ACROSS's ideals!" She replied while flexing a muscle on her arm.

_Forget about it. It seems that you don't really want to learn magic. Plus, you're more scatterbrained than that Jellyfish for brains Gourry! I doubt you'd ever..._

Lina was cut short as a nice summer rain began to fall. Anyone from the Nerima Wrecking Crew can tell you that rain is your worst enemy when cursed.

"AGGHH!" X/Lina grabbed her stomach in agony.

"Senpai? What's wrong?"

"Hunger... Too... Strong... Energy... Levels... Plummetting... Fast..." X/Lina replied gasping for breath in between each to try and stop the cramping.

_See... Told ya!_

"Oh. Well we need to find someplace to eat then." Hyatt said as she looked around. "Oh! I've found a ramen stand senpai." She pointed towards the little wooden stand. "Let's go there to..."

X/Lina was already gone and sitting at the booth.

"eat?"

"I'll take two of everything you've got!" X/Lina cheerfully shouted.

**

* * *

1:00 PM JST**

**Tendo Dojo**

Everything was starting to return to normal back at the dojo. Okay, so maybe it's not quite normal with Akane cooking, the fiancee's chasing Genma-panda throughout the wooden household, presence of Belldandy... Maybe just a return to Nerima-style sanity.

"I SWEAR NEVER TO GROPE ANOTHER GIRL AS LONG AS I LIVE!" A thoroughly bruised and battered Happosai exclaimed while flying through the air with some girl's panties clutched in his hands and landed right onto Ranma's head.

... Oh shut up already! Alright, it was Nerima-brand chaos as we know and love. Not even Ranma having control over I'z-chan could prevent this type of chaos. If anything, potentiate it.

"AGGHH! It's just the same bad, horrible, awful luck as always!" Ranma screamed as he dropped the Master of Anything-Goes and dodged one of Kodachi's bombs intended for Genma.

"Not so. I mean Akane is cooking good, edible food now and enjoying it." Nabiki chimed in. "And Happosai has sworn off terrorizing any girl he sees."

"Not quite my dear Nabiki." Happosai interrupted. "I never said anything about not stealing their panties!" He grinned a sick grin as he held up a pair of standard white panties. "HA HA HA! She didn't even notice me swipe them off of her before she sent me flying back here!"

"You were saying Nabiki." Ranma said with sarcasm. "Hey, do you feel that?"

"Feel what?"

All of the sudden, every bird in the city stopped chirping. Everyone stopped dead in their tracks of chasing Genma-panda and turned to look at the horizon. Kasumi stopped cleaning and looked up to see the sky darken with a dust cloud and a single shadow was visible in the center of it. Given how large the dust cloud was, it was moving at a fairly fast pace.

Happosai looked up with fear in his eyes as if the Grim Reaper himself were coming after him. "I... IT... IT'S HER!"

Everyone at the dojo ran back inside including Ranma to leave the reformed pervert outside to his fate. Given the way the laws of chaos runs in Nerima, any onlooker will be pulled into the upcoming battle.

After everyone had made it to the safety of the dojo, the person running at breakneck speed became more visible. The girl looked no more than around 17 years of age. She had knee-length silver hair with two hair-antennae on the top of her head. She had deep-bluish turquoise eyes that currently were fixated on Happosai's diminutive figure.The rest of her body resembled that of a supermodel with slender arms and legs and large breasts. She was clothed in a child-sized floral print kimono that only covered half of her upper body. She wore a violet miniskirt with a red cloth belt tied across it. In her hands was a bokken that had an aura around it the same as her own.

Bell-chan looked out and noticed who was running towards the dojo. "Looks like Maya-chan is here."

Nabiki turned whiter than a bedsheet. "You can't mean... Her?"

"Hai." Bell-chan replied back.

She immediately turned towards Ranma. "Where... Where did you send Happosai!"

"To some other school I heard about where martial arts is the main focus. You told me to send him to someplace where he'd learn a lesson and I thought, 'Well, if he likes high school girls, why not to a high school where if he was perverted towards a girl he'd get his butt whipped.' I think the place is called Judou... Bodou... Academy... Something or another."

"Todou Academy?"

"Yeah! That's the place!"

"SAOTOME YOU IDIOT!" Nabiki yelled. "That's where the Natsume sisters go! The strongest female fighters in Japan!"

"Eh? Really?" He replied with a blank face.

"**_DIE PERVERT!_**" A slightly ticked off grown up Maya Natsume screamed as she threw her bokken with dead on accuracy at the pervert's head.

"AAAHH!" Happosai ducked letting the wooden sword hit the ground behind him only to look up and see the eldest daughter of the Natsume-ryo style of martial arts sending a swift ki-filled kick to his face.

"Nice try sweeto! But you have to get up pretty early to catch me with an attack like that!"

Happosai jumped from the kick and made his ki-projection of himself that normally scares stupid fighters away.

"Hmph. The Battle Aura attack of the Anything-Goes school." Maya said calmly. "The fighter can't attack the user up close." She broke off a hefty-sized twig from the tree. "However..."

Everyone watched and began to take notes.

She kicked the branch at Happosai causing him to deflect it with the attack. When he looked, Maya was gone. She appeared behind him and smacked him straight into the air with her bokken.

"The user's not immune to indirect attacks."

Everyone took note of this flaw in the Master's supposedly unstoppable attack.

Maya stood there with her bokken over her shoulders as the Master of Anything-Goes crashed into a crater behind her.

"Oooh!" Ukyo winced.

"GASP!" Shampoo gasped.

"Eeeeoww.." Kodachi cringed.

"Umm... Maybe I did make a tiny mistake?" Ranma sweated.

"Serves the old lech right." Akane spoke up. "Looks like he bit off a little more than he could chew this time around."

"OOMPH! Watch it little girlie! Things are about to get explosive around here!" Happosai exclaimed.

Maya turned around ready to attack him again as he pulled out five of his Happo-daikrin bombs as a last ditch effort. "Take that!"

"Where did those come from?" She wondered as she ran to escape the explosion.

"Heh heh heh heh. Trade secret sweeto." He replied as he continued the throw the bombs.

Maya saw the concrete wall and smirked. She jumped behind the wall just as Happosai was about the throw more bombs. He grinned and danced still holding the bombs in one hand and her panties in the other.

"HA HA HA! I beat her! Now, I can put these panties in my special collection and resume my perverted duties!"

"Nice try lech..."Maya screamed as she elbowed the wall with all her force leaving only a small dent. The energy exerted from the body slam traveled through the wall and became concentrated on the bombs in Happosai's hand.

"! INCOMING!" Genma-panda wrote on his sign. Everyone in the dojo moved quickly as the door exploded. With it came a very sooty looking and energy depleted Happosai embedded in the wall of the next room.

"Master!" Soun cried out. "Are you okay!"

"Just... Peachy..." Happosai replied as he fell from the wall face first.

Chibi-Maya walked into the dojo to where Happosai laid and took her panties back. "Thank you, I shall be taking these back. So it is true that the Master of Anything-Goes is a very lecherous man. I hope that you learned your lesson from now on." She smacked him in the head with the bokken just for good measure.

"Uh..." Ranma stood there slackfaced at the sight of the little girl. "Are you...?"

"Mmhmm." chibi-Maya smirked as she replaced her panties. "Sorry for the intrusion. Ja, ne."

They watched as she ran back to whence she came.

"Okay... So little girl beat pervert up?" Shampoo inquired.

"Evidently." Ukyo replied.

Amidst the confusion, Genma-panda slipped quietly away. And then knocked over a big urn full of marbles.

"! Hey! Father panda try to escape! Shampoo no like!"

"Uh... Oh." Genma-panda held up a sign.

"GET HIM!" The fiancee brigade descended upon the helpless panda creating a huge debris cloud through the dojo out into the yard.

"Oh dear." Kasumi said. "I'll call Dr. Tofu right away."

"SAOTOME YOU FOUL SORCERER! What black magic has doth casted upon thou's fair family!" A voice cried out from the treetops.

"Ack! Not now Kuno!" Shouted Ranma.

Mousse walks in without his glasses and up to Akane. "Shampoo my love! I have finally found you!"

"Mousse! PUT ON YOUR GLASSES!"

"AAAGHH! I WISH THIS DAY WOULD END!" Ranma shouted for all of Nerima to hear.

_**POOF!**_

* * *

AN: WOOHOO! Chapter 5 is finally complete! But now... I'm gonna have to think up a new omake ( Give me time, I'll think up something! And before vicious, bloodthirsty lawyers descend upon me yet again glances side to side Natsume Maya is from the series Tenjho Tenge, copyright Oh! Great/DC Comics/Geneon Entertainment USA. 

Next time on Ookiina! Excel and Hyatt finally make it to Nerima! What awaits for them at the center of all chaos? Will they find Ranma? Will more people appear out of nowhere! Will That Man wear an off-white suit! What is Ilpalazzo-sama doing while Excel is away! Where in the world is Ryoga? Will Excel eat him if she finds him? Will these questions ever end! Will someone please give me a shot of Ritalin! Is there anyone out there! Am I just rambling on to myself! Who is that on the horizon! Is that Lina! Is that a slipper I see coming my way! SMACK!... Pidgeys flutter around his head

Ja, ne

-Rai


End file.
